Diabetic Living - Fall 2006

(wellness & YOUR CHILD Continued from page 53

schedule. It’s no wonder that siblings who don’t have diabetes can feel shortchanged.

Tackling Tension

Most families have sibling disagreements that can arise as the result of perceived inequality in attention received. An added challenge in a family with a child who has diabetes is to differentiate between a garden-variety incident and one that results from hypo- or hyperglycemia. When blood glucose gets too high or too low, children with diabetes can become cranky and start fights. Family members who learn to recognize the symptoms of unstable blood glucose can take measures to avoid an argument.

Try to let siblings resolve their own disagreements, unless your children are at risk of getting hurt. If you need to step in, be evenhanded and avoid favoring the child with diabetes. Having a

discussion with each child after the emotions subside can be helpful in determining if there is a perception of uneven attention given to each child.

Individual Needs
Each child has different
needs—medical, emotional,
physical, and educational—and
wants a different response
from parents. “Trying to be fair
usually backfires and heightens
competition because children
learn to compare themselves to
their siblings,” says psychologist
Linda Sonna, Ph.D., author of
The Everything Parent’s Guide to
Raising Siblings. “Parents who
need to spend time caring for one
child can invite the other children
to help as a way to give them a
sense of importance.” Explain to
your children the extra needs of
your child with diabetes, but be
prepared for healthy children to
create exaggerated symptoms as
a way to gain attention.

( 10 ways to minimize rivalry)

To keep sibling rivalries from becoming problematic, try the following practices.

1. Include each child in the others’ routines.

2. Encourage and support each child’s interests and activities.

3. Don’t be too overprotective. Allow your child with diabetes to engage in all family activities. If you question a particular activity, check with a diabetes educator or doctor.

4. Compliment and praise children for their cooperation.

5. Offer your children encouragement as often as you correct them.

6. Don’t compare children or play favorites.

7. Consult with a professional about developing good attitudes.

8. Stock up on healthful treats that everyone can eat.

9. Establish family meal times and emphasize their importance.

10. Educate all family members about diabetes and how to handle it so each child feels included.

“ Once we talked
about it, we became
much closer.” —Katie Yanke
Talk It Through

Keeping family members communicating can help to lessen sibling rivalry. When you actively listen to and acknowledge each child’s comments and complaints, you send the message that the child’s feelings are important. Encourage children to resolve sibling problems on their own and offer to hold family meetings to discuss important issues.

Allow each child to express positive and negative feelings toward diabetes. Anger and frustration are common—the child with diabetes may be angry at the illness, while the child who doesn’t have diabetes feels frustrated that a sibling needs so much attention. Brainstorming and problem solving are constructive ways to deal with those feelings.

Children develop stronger relationships when they communicate with one another. “Always talk through things. Don’t ignore them and the problem and think things will get better,” Katie says. “Talk about how they’re feeling. My sister felt excluded when our mom had to stay with me in the hospital, and I felt like she was having all the fun with Mom. Once we talked about it, we became much closer.”